


i'd kiss you as the lights went out

by awesomeaislin



Series: Carry On Countdown 2018 [27]
Category: Carry On Series - Rainbow Rowell
Genre: Boys In Love, Christmas, DEC 21 - lights, Fairy Lights, Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-21
Updated: 2018-12-21
Packaged: 2019-09-23 20:50:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,001
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17087519
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/awesomeaislin/pseuds/awesomeaislin
Summary: Simon Snow has fairy lights in his room, and Baz can't imagine why."“You got the lights for me?” I ask.“Of course I did.”Of course he did."





	i'd kiss you as the lights went out

**Author's Note:**

> I really liked writing this. All around a great time.

Simon Snow has fairy lights in his room. 

And I make fun of him for it alot. Because It’s adorable, and when Snow does adorable things I’m obligated to mock him. I don’t make the rules.

But he never really engages with it. He just rolls his eyes at me, and pulls me into bed. I’m starting to think that maybe he doesn’t like being fully in the dark. It’s not like they provide much light, but maybe it’s a comfort if he’s afraid. It’s certainly a comfort to me.

After the coffin, I really don’t love being in the dark. It makes me nervous. I could understand if Snow was afraid of the dark.

And then one day I get to his apartment after he’s gone to bed, and he has them off. Which is bizarre. He never has them off. But I crawl into bed next to him anyway, and I try to pretend to be comfortable in the dark.

“Baz,” Simon mumbles from beside me.

“I didn’t mean to wake you up, love,” I tell him. I didn’t. He doesn’t always get alot of sleep. He says he’s fine, but I can see the bags under his eyes.

He leans over, and suddenly the lights are on again.

“You got the lights for me?” I ask.

“Of course I did.”

Of course he did. Such a hero, my Simon. Always thinking of everyone else’s comfort before himself.

I don’t say anything else, but I kiss him on the cheek, and he wraps his arms around me, and we fall asleep.

But I can’t stop thinking about it. It’s weeks later, and I’m still thinking about it.

I don’t ask for about a month. We’ve just put up the Christmas tree, and I watched Simon get himself tangled in a string of twinkle lights. (It took him about thirty minutes to get himself out, and he nearly threw himself down the stairs.)

 We spend the night in the living room with Penny and her boyfriend who is visiting for the holidays. The Bunces out on some Christmas songs and we then all get to watch Simon (badly) belt along to them. It’s the kind of lovely evening that leaves you feeling warm and fuzzy inside in a way that isn’t just from the hot chocolate you had earlier.

But the night ends, and Simon starts yawning and nodding off on my chest, so I tell Bunce we’re going to sleep. (And she argues that if I stay here anymore often she’s going to start charging me rent.)

When we get into bed, and we’ve both settled in. I finally ask.

“How did you know?”

“How did I know what?”

“That I was uncomfortable in the dark,” I explain. I don’t like admitting it outloud, but it’s not like this conversation goes much further without it. Besides, it’s just Simon. It’s not like there’s anything to be worried about. It’s just Simon.

“What?” Simon mumbles. Maybe I shouldn’t have broached this conversation this late at night.

“The lights,” I tell him. “You have them up, but I know they can’t be for you because they were off when you were here alone, and you turned them on when I got there. How did you know?”

“I could tell,” Simon says (Rather unhelpfully if I do say so myself.).

“Yes, but how?” I ask again because I have to know. I mean no. It’s probably not very important, but isn’t it? 

“You didn’t like the dark when you came back to school,” He mumbles. He’s closed his eyes and leaned into my shoulder. I should let him sleep. He’s tired, and I’m tired, and we could use some sleep. “I could tell,” He says again.

“I didn’t think you noticed.”

It’s true. I didn’t think he would notice. I would lie awake at night hoping to fall asleep or calm myself down or at very least get over the dumb fear. There’s nothing lurking in the dark. Even the monsters in my room are scared of me. I’m supposed to be the monster under the bed.

“Of course I noticed,” Simon smiles. “I notice everything about you. Go to sleep, darling.” 

I love when Snow calls me darling. I think he knows that and he uses it to get what he wants from me. _And yet I’m the evil one._ I’d give him anything.

“Just one more question,” I say anyway. I’ll let him sleep in a minute. There’s plenty of time left to sleep. We have nowhere to be tomorrow.

He groans, but nods into me anyway.

“When did you buy them?”

Because I was there when he was buying furniture for the flat. I was there. I would have noticed him buying there, but no they were just there the first day he took me into his room (along with a framed photo of the three of us (which was the object of all of my attention and obsession for the next few weeks.))

“I saw them in a window, and I thought you might like them,” Simon sighs. “Can we sleep now?”

“Ok.”

And just like that the conversation is over. I’m touched. I’m so touched that he cares enough to do that, and that he’s so kind he didn’t even think about it. He’s never even complained about having to sleep with some lights on. He just goes with it. He’s made me the luckiest vampire on the planet.

“I love you,” I whisper into the darkness. It’s not the first time, but I really want him to hear it now. He needs to know how loved he is. How much he deserves to be loved. “You’re the most wonderful person I have ever met, or will ever meet, and I love you.”

And so what? I’m being a sappy, overly emotional idiot, but it’s just him, and who is going to believe him if he tells. Certainly not Bunce. 

“Ok, you sap, I love you too.”


End file.
